The Perils of Living Alone

Last night, I passed out on my couch at 8:30. Yes, I’m basically a grandma. Tuesday’s are my long day… I taught from 8-4:30 nonstop, picked up some Thai curry for dinner, came home and crashed. 

At 9:30, I woke up and made the sensible move to my bed.

I woke up again at about 10:30, and was absolutely convinced that someone had broken into my flat and beat the shit out of me.  Totally normal, right?

Before I actually woke up, I woke up in my dream. I noticed that my lip felt very strange and was in a weird position, kinda curled Elvis-like. I couldn’t stand, so I fell out of my bed and dragged myself into the hallway. I looked at the door and saw strange keys in the deadbolt lock with a note.* When I got into the bathroom, I pulled myself up to look in the mirror and saw that my face was all bloody and purple. Then I passed back out.

A few minutes later when I actually woke up, I was completely freaked out. It’s very unusual for me to remember my dreams, and this one was clear as day. I was afraid to move because I thought I would find that I wasn’t able to. Finally I got my eyes to open, looked at the clock and saw that I’d only been sleeping for an hour. I got up, went to the door, triple-checked it, then checked the kitchen and bathroom for axe murderers. I was pretty freaked out, so I put on some nice, soothing Bon Iver, and tried to relax before I went back to bed. 

I’m thinking the dream had something to do with the Thai food (does anyone else get this? food affects your dreams?), or the noises I hear from other flats. Generally, it’s pretty quiet, but my bed is mounted on the wall and so it conducts every “structural” noise straight into my ear. So every time a door shuts in the flats around me, I hear it. 

So what does one do when they’re super-freaked out and they live alone? Like I said, I triple-checked the locks, put on some quiet music and hoped for the best. But this was one of those times where I missed having flatmates. With four of us in Prague, and a never-ending cast of visitors, someone was almost always awake. As annoying as it was at times to be trying to sleep at 4a.m. but be kept awake by someone typing over your head, or people satisfying their munchies with after-bar cooking, there was always someone there. I mean, axe murderers don’t break into houses where people have hula-hoop competitions, Gossip Girl marathons, or beer pong tourneys. Right?

*World’s dumbest criminals scenario? At least that was positive. But then again, I don’t have a deadbolt. Dream inaccuracy!


4 thoughts on “The Perils of Living Alone

  1. I had a nightmare one night about two weeks ago and I do a lot of the same things before I can go back to sleep- I turn on the light, put on some music, and read funny shit on the Internet until I feel less freaked out.

    I'm not sure if there was food involved in my crazy-ass nightmares, though.

  2. I lived alone in London and it didn't bother me very often as I knew there were other people in apartments round about, and murderers/psychopaths are probably quite lazy and would probably try and kill someone who lived closer to the front door. BUT, if ever I did get scared I would recommend either watching a funny dvd, reading something light-hearted, or phoning someone for a chat.

  3. Good thinking… I'm on the top floor and you're probably right that any axe murderer would shoot for something closer to the doorway. I was just particularly freaked out as that almost never happens to me… but then last night I had a super-vivid dream about my cat so I'm sure something happened to him now.

    Aaaaaaaaaand now I sound like a cat lady. Whoops. Oh well.

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