Everyone likes a good recipe/food post, right? With that in mind, I present this tale:
Last week I was teaching my elementary group, and we were finishing up the chapter on food, ordering in a restaurant/supermarket, polite questions, etc. Since we had just gone through a whole list of food words, as well as food preparation words (e.g., stir, mix, bake, boil, etc.), I gave them the task of writing a simple recipe. They then had to share the recipe, and the other students had to guess what they were making.
Three of them had pretty normal ideas such as strawberry cake, some kind of sandwich, and scrambled eggs. Then there was my Polish guy, Birdman (obviously, not his real name). Here is his recipe, slightly paraphrased as I was laughing too hard to write it down.
Vodka (he had amounts as well, but I don’t recall)
Put vodka in half glass. Put in orange juice, mix with spoon. Add ice cubes and wait two minutes. Drink. Repeat.
Like, seriously? Leave it to the Polish dude (stereotype alert) to give me a recipe for a screwdriver. But on the plus side, we got to learn the word for screwdriver, i.e., the tool and the beverage.
It doesn’t seem that any of them are big cooks, at least not during the week. In Germany it’s the norm to eat your big meal at lunch, so most of them have their main meal of the day in the cafeteria. Then in the evenings it’s just bread with toppings, or something else small. So i can understand if they were kind of at a loss on this one.
But this particular student is a bit of an “escape artist,” as my boss put it after he substituted for me. Everything he says is with a bit of a smirk, so this was pretty standard order. He’s given me some good laughs though.
For example, back in January all my students had to do “reviews” of our lessons thus far. This is pretty much terrifying. When I went in to speak to my boss about it, he immediately handed me one of the score sheets. They had to score from 1 (best) to 6 (worst), which follows the basic school grading system here in Germany. This particular sheet was all 6’s. My reaction to this was pretty much, WTF. I stuttered a bit, and my boss laughed and explained.
This survey came from Birdman. And in Poland, the system is the other way around. Therefore a 6 is best, and 1 is the worst. I was like, really? Really? The number of inappropriate Polish jokes that could come from this is… infinite. But I’m glad my boss got a charge out of scaring the Scheiße out of me on my first evaluation.
After that, I probably could have used a screwdriver… if only I had known how to make one….