This happened…

This is a (slightly paraphrased) conversation had in my lesson today. To set the scene, we had just done a listening in which they heard a ‘customer-service call’ and had to determine the problem the customer was having, as well as some minor details.

R: “What did she say with the numbers? I didn’t understand… X9blahblahblah?
B: “I think it was a…. thing in don’t…. between n and t?” 
Heather: “An apostrophe? No, not an apostrophe.”
M: “Was it a backlash?”
Heather: “A backslash? No, I think it was one of these…”
*writes X9- on the board*
R: “Ahhhh, what was it called?”
Heather: “That’s a hyphen.”
M: “How do you write that?”
Heather: “Like this.”
*spells ‘hyphen’ on board*
M: snorts. “That’s not English.”
B: “Wait… isn’t that… when you lose the virginity?”
All: “What??”
Heather: *dying laughing*
M: “When you what? What did you say?”
B: “When you… the virginity? Isn’t it the hyphen?”
Heather: *continues dying laughing to the point where speech is impossible and must hide face behind papers because she’s probably eight shades of red*
All: still trying to figure out just what B said. “No? That’s not a hyphen? Then what is it?”
Heather: chokes out “hymen.”
M: “How do you spell that?”

I bet Mr. Murphy never has to deal with this.

And since we’re at it… here are some other gems that I heard while administering tests last week. I let them work together because I think tests are stupid and annoying, and I hate them almost as much as they do. Plus that way they’re talking, and aren’t just sitting in silence for 90 minutes. Which is the point of the class and all.

(same group as above)
B: “Move over, let’s try this.”
R: “We can work together? What kind of test is this?”

R: “I think we take B.”
B: “Yes, A is stupid. B isn’t so dusty.”

*side note: prior to the test, one student (A) had alluded to some insecurities he has about his age, due to his feeling that his hairline is making it’s way towards the back of his head. A and R work closely together, and R is very bald at this point.*
A: “Is it right? Do we take it?”
R: “Yes, old man.”
Heather: cracking up while trying to read CNN headlines and ignore this nonsense.
A: “Can I use my phone too?”

(different group)
A: “Whew.” (removes sweater) “It’s warm in here.”
M: “She thinks we’re intelligent.”
A: “No, it’s warm.”

(different group)
B: “We think we should work together for this test.”
Heather: “Well, I did let all the other groups work together, but since you asked…. no I’m just kidding. You kids have fun.”
R: “B will write for us.”
Heather: “Oooooh no. You can work together but you all have to WRITE your own test. I need a name on it. Name and date is worth 50%.”

R: snorts “Where is T?? We have grammar for him??”

R: “Oh, what the hell.” 

I am endlessly amused by my job. 


4 thoughts on “This happened…

  1. We can if they keep saying ridiculous stuff. Side note: I was informed today that 'B', the hyphen questioner, was running around his department bragging about his high test score yesterday afternoon. The student who told me this actually had a HIGHER score, so I told him that I'd bring him some gold star stickers next week. I like to get a little inter-class rivalry going. Keep them sharp and all. 🙂

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