Sorry, I’m Not Sorry: A Linkup

Minus last summer’s Blogger Christmas in July, I’ve never done a link-up. I see them, and sometimes they’re cute or interesting or whatever, but I‘ve never been motivated to join in the party. Until today that is, when Alex over at ifs ands & butts had me absolutely rolling in laughter. It’s been one of “those weeks,” and I decided that it was high time to get my uppity pants on. With that, here’s my contribution to Sorry, I’m Not Sorry (hosted by Staci at High Cotton Blog)… because we all need a bitch moment at least once in a while.

Sorry, I’m Not Sorry…

… that at almost-30 years old, I still procrastinate more than a college student the night before final exams. I’m typing this in-between scanning in a book of ESL exercises to have as a PDF, which was my second project after I spent the last four hours working on lesson plans and month-end paperwork. Damn the month ending on a Thursday! And all of that after working eight hours today. (Don’t roll your eyes, that’s unusual and a long day for an English teacher here.) I keep telling myself that I’m going to learn time management skills and at this point, I think it’s a lost cause. Embrace the procrastination!

Via

… that BV is sitting here watching a football game, and I occasionally think it’s funny to yell out SCHWEINSTEIGER in the “scary German voice” when I hear his name. C’mon, that’s like, the Germanest German name ever.

Via

     

You sell that sausage-y thing buddy, sell it good. Unfortunately I can’t yell out his name every time they say it, because he’s all over the damn field and if I did that, I’d have no voice and wouldn’t be able to teach tomorrow. Schade.

for intentionally whacking into a guy’s shoulder while walking to the train station on Sunday. The sidewalk was only partially cleared of snow, and BV and I were walking together when three people were coming towards us. Being the high-functioning and courteous human that he is, BV stepped a bit behind me so there would be a more room for us to pass. The three walking towards us didn’t even move over an inch, so rather than me stepping aside into the pile of nasty, gray, and slushy snow, I totally shoulder whacked the guy closest to me. Why should I have to get my shoes all wet and dirty just because you MUST WALK NEXT TO YOUR FRIEND. Share the sidewalk or fear my wrath.

… on a related note: I’m not sorry for saying that if I were a Jedi, I would use the Force to enforce (haha) proper public transportation etiquette aka, one of my favorite topics to soapbox about. Some people would consider this a waste of the Force, whereas I feel that it would be extremely beneficial to oh so many people.

… for having an incurable sweet tooth.

… for mentally correcting the grammar and spelling in 75% of the Facebook posts I see. 

… for taking a 40-minute hot shower at any available opportunity. I know it kills fish, but it is one of life’s great joys.

…. for loving jeans straight out of the dryer. As many of you expats know, dryers are pretty much  nonexistent in Germany because they’re all environmental here. But you know what? Having to wait three days after washing jeans to wear them is RIDICULOUS. Dryers are wonderful, I miss them terribly, and you telling me that I’m killing the world is not going to change that fact.

… for laying on my couch and watching back to back to back to back episodes of ‘The Office’ that I’ve seen a million times for hours on end. Possibly while playing countless games of solitaire or mahjong and tuning out the world.

… for quoting ‘The Office’ at any possible opportunity. 

… for occasionally plotting certain people’s death by T-Rex attack.

Via
… for drinking beer at any time of the day I damn well please. This does not make me an alcoholic, this makes me a person who enjoys beer, especially while living in Germany.
One of my favorites…
… same goes for wine. And if I want to drink a bottle of wine and rot my brain in front of ‘The Bachelor,’ well I’m not sorry about that either.

… for watching any other reality show for that matter. I’m not even saying it’s a guilty pleasure anymore. I just thoroughly enjoy turning my brain off, while watching chicks flip tables, fall in LUUUURVE in a few weeks in a completely implausible situation, or fall off treadmills. Love it.

… for changing into pajama pants immediately upon coming home, and not putting on jeans unless I’m planning on leaving the house. I spill, so why chance getting something dirty… especially something that takes three days to dry? F that shiz. 

… for not wanting to go to The Club. I’m a bar girl, always have been, always will be. And thankfully now I’m old enough and mature enough to be okay staying home by myself rather than getting all dressed up to spend a night listening to music I don’t like and being cranky.

… for eating whatever the hell I feel like. Sure I’d like to be thinner than I am but diets are stupid, and I don’t think that depriving yourself of anything you want will do you any good in the long run.

… for not gushing all over your kid. I think the kids in my family are cute, I think my friends’ kids are cute (okay, some of them are), but OPK (other people’s kids)… meh. If you feel the same, I recommend this book. You will laugh a lot, I know I did. 

Via Amazon

… for being sarcastic. Have been forever, and it’s now to the point where I might be being serious and it still sounds sarcastic. THAT’S JUST HOW I SOUND.

Via
… that the sarcasm and pessimism hides my closeted optimist. To quote from the great Eric Clapton…
  
that I love living abroad. America is great, but if I wanted to live there, I would. A lot of expats like to hang out and commiserate about their country of residence, but that’s not really my bag. Germany isn’t perfect and of course I have problems here, but to my mind, nothing beats the expat life. 
Via

Anything to add? Agree, disagree? Let me know!
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22 thoughts on “Sorry, I’m Not Sorry: A Linkup

  1. I LOVE the Procrasti-Nation picture 😀

    I now officially want you to become a Jedi so you can enforce proper public transport etiquette. I am sooo sick of people leaning across me to press the button that opens the door. “I've literally JUST pressed it and it didn't work because the doors haven't been released yet. Have a little patience and stop assuming I'm just too stupid to press a button. Aaargh!” (is what I say inside my head).

    I love some of my freinds' kids. Some of them are really, really NOT cute though. The thing is, it's definitely not socially acceptable to say that. I will happily gush about one particular friend's child though – he is honestly adorable and so laid back/well behaved. If I ever have a child, I PRAY that he/she is exactly like S!

  2. Love the last one. People can't understand how I can miss so mayn big events but to me, living here is worth it. I am so on par with most of these. And it really doens't get much better than SCHWEINSTEIGER

  3. Right there with you on the public transit etiquette. I HATE the way people jockey to get on before the exiting folk have cleared the doorway. I would LOVE to give them a little Force-push…

    The sausage that he's holding? The Bifi that are like little individually wrapped dried out corn dogs are delicious…

    Also, I agree on dryers. I sometimes walk to the laundromat just so that I can use a dryer. If the laundromat was less than half a kilometer from my apartment, I probably wouldn't have bought my own washer.

    Re: “I Hate Other People's Kids,” I have a copy of that in storage back in the US. Fantastic book!

  4. First, LOVE screaming SCHWEINSTEIGER! You feel really German and angry when you do. Plus his hair is ridiculous. I don't think I use the public transit as often as you, but I can imagine it can be annoying sometimes. Nothing is worse to me than NYC transit at 6 pm on a weeknight.

    I love dryers. The smell, the warmth, gosh I miss them.

    I don't have too many friends with kids either, but if there is one thing I hate, and I hate it a lot, is when someone takes out their family album for me, and then shows me pictures for 1 hour of their great uncle Scott and crap. I don't even like looking at pictures of my own family often. Ick.

    Sometimes it is nice to commiserate with other expats about the things they miss in their home country, I know I'm guilty of it, especially over on my blog. I know I can be annoying about my disdain for the human race sometimes, but I don't hate Germany. I think I've learned and experienced a lot living abroad, and there are benefits here that you would never get back home.

  5. That made my day when I saw it on Pinterest. I need to move there immediately.

    PT is for sure my German soapbox topic. It makes me completely insane, but it's oddly better here than it was in the Czech Republic. I have never spent a subway ride with my nose in some dude's armpit in the middle of summer. So that's something. In addition to the button-pushers, I hate the people outside the train who can see you standing there, yet still yank the door open and try to get on first. GAH.

    I've already promised to lie to at least one person if their kid isn't cute. Sometimes honesty is not the best policy. 🙂

  6. Well shoot, if we both can get the Force going… we might stand a chance against the madness.

    Really? I haven't been brave enough to try one. Sausages in packages kind of freak me out.

    There's a laundromat about 2 blocks away from here, but I've never braved it. There tend to be a lot of sketchy-looking people hanging around, particularly in summer when the bar/casino next door puts out the picnic table on the sidewalk. Someday I'll break though… like when I need to wear the jeans tomorrow and not a week from now.

    I laughed til I cried. I have a copy in storage as well. I think the writer used to be a contributor on those VH1 shows like, “Remember the 90s” etc., and she was a riot.

  7. I did kind of struggle to find a picture of him without absurd, spiky, bleached-out hair. And if I get driven crazy by the PT here, I think I better avoid NYC in the future. My murderous tendencies might come out.

    Yes.

    Haha. True. My student today was complaining about a 5-hour slideshow of a trip to Africa. Apparently the whole thing was sand… I think I would have welcomed a shot of great uncle Scott at that point.

    You're right, and I definitely do have my moments when commiseration is needed. But I try not to focus on the negatives, and think about how nice the old lady was this morning when she was thanking me for helping her use the ticket machine. The only person she was upset about was the Deutsche Bahn for raising ticket prices. 🙂

  8. Oh my god, I've done the exact same thing to people on the sidewalk. I usually follow up by throwing a disturbingly girly sounding, “Oh, EXCUSE me!” over my shoulder as I totter away. Advantage, me. Seriously, how hard is it to budge a little bit to the side for half a second so everyone can enjoy the sidewalk? So rude.

    I've only recently discovered the joys of the Bachelor myself, but I agree. It's not a guilty pleasure anymore. I spend 8-hours a day being yelled at by strangers. Judging people who choose to parade their ridiculousness on TV is a totally justifiable way of unwinding for me!

    Anyway, most of this was pretty true for me, too. Definitely related.

    Beets. Bears. Battlestar Gallactica.

  9. Haha, the funny thing is that I had a dryer in Germany but got my first dryer in America three days ago. I lived without a dryer here since 2011. 🙂
    David always says that all Germans sound so angry…including me. 🙂 I think I sound pretty nice. But maybe only for a German.
    Schweini!! :))

  10. First question: You're in America, so when in the world are you on a sidewalk? I don't think there are sidewalks from the parking spot to the doorway of Target, are there? Kidding. Mostly.

    We used to watch a lot back in college, then I gave it up. But the funny thing about living abroad is that you can end up watching FAR more bad TV than you did at home. I think it has something to do with wanting to hear English when you don't get to all the time. Or something.

    The evidence points to yes on relations.

  11. Whaaaaa??? How is that possible? If I ever get my claws on a dryer again, I might never let go.

    Personally I think it depends on the circumstances. When I'm on the U-Bahn listening to a couple of teenage girls giggling together, I don't think it sounds scary at all. But if a couple of men are just having a conversation, it can get a bit hostile sounding. It's all those crazy throat noises that y'all make. 🙂

  12. The sidewalk terrorism was a frequent occurence when I was in Oshkosh. On campus and walking to and from very important appointments around town (*cough*bars*cough*).

  13. Germany isn't perfect and of course I have problems here, but to my mind, nothing beats the expat life.

    This is the kind of sentiment we love to see at the annual WEBMU — Whiny Expat Bloggers Meet Up — and we're getting it going again. http://forums.expatbloggersingermany.com has all the details of past meetups available for your browsing pleasure and I'm hoping a host for 2013 will make her/himself known soon. Hope you can make it this year!

  14. Oooooh, I hope I can make it this year! I wanted to do it last year but what with all the vacations between my vacations I had to let something go. Will definitely keep an eye on the forum.

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