“Oh Good Lord, Even the Backpacks Are Hipster….”

Back home in Wisconsin, this week is back to school for most of the kids. For this reason, I’m trying to not pop into Facebox quite as much. Why? Well, because my news feed on Tuesday was pretty much non-stop pictures of assorted children wearing backpacks in front of doors, strapped into car seats, in new classrooms, and sitting in front of lockers.

-Digression-: Since when do kindergarteners get (or need??) lockers? Back in my day, we had a hook for our tiny backpacks, and a railing below it for shoes and boots. What in the world is happening in kindergarten now that warrants an entire locker? -End digression.-

While many of my Facebook friends are now parents (and probably think I’m a weirdo for being 30+, living in a foreign country, and being unmarried with no spawn adorable Kinder), and many of them do have very cute kids…. it’s just a little much. What can I say? One of my favorite websites is the hilarious STFU, Parents. If you are easily annoyed by these things too, I recommend giving it a look. And yes, I do know it goes the other way. I’m sure that some of my FB friends have me blocked for posting one too many pictures of travel, or something similar. To each his own, as long as no-one does something like this* to me. So ridiculous.

It’s easy enough to avoid the overload of cutesy-ness by staying off of FB, or by limiting what you see from people when you log in, but real life doesn’t quite work that way. So today when I walked into the Müller drugstore in the train station to get a printer cartridge, I was faced with a section of brightly-colored back-to-school fun. And then…. I saw this….

occupy backpacks

This. Is. Awesome.

I actually posted this picture to FB this afternoon (and yes, I do realize the irony), but I just thought it was important for everyone to know that little Susie or Johnny could be missing an opportunity. Why take a backpack emblazoned with ‘Cars’ or ‘My Little Pony’ or your favorite NFL team, when you could be making a political statement! Occupy the 3rd grade, betches!

But, I’m not sure if all of the wholesome, corn-fed, Little League-playing kids that I saw in my news feed this week could pull this one off. In a European city, when used to add to a 6-year-old’s ensemble of skinny jeans, Converse, green hoodie, flat brimmed black baseball hat covered with white dollar signs and horn-rimmed glasses,** sure. But ‘Occupy’ doesn’t really go with a Nike t-shirt and basketball shorts, nor does it go with a school uniform of khakis and a polo.

Sigh. European kids just have that edge. Occupy on, hipster kids, occupy on.***


*while I am impressed by the lengths that the sender went to in order to remain anonymous… really? Really?? Asshat.

**actually seen today on the U-1 in Nürnberg.

***And if your little sister isn’t political yet, she’ll love the butterfly backpack. Give her a few years, and I’m sure she’ll come around.



11 thoughts on ““Oh Good Lord, Even the Backpacks Are Hipster….”

  1. Oh my, that fb story… people are WEIRD!

    You know what gets me, though? When people put their kids as their profile picture. Not them WITH their sprog, just the sprog. They know that their kids are different people, right…?

    • I couldn’t believe that one. If you really hate seeing other people enjoying their lives, then just block them for Pete’s sake.

      OH MY GOD. That is such a pet peeve of mine too! If it’s them and the kid, fine, no problem. BUT YOU DO NOT BECOME YOUR CHILD. Not to mention that fact that it confuses the crap out of me when it’s a picture of a baby, and a last name that I don’t recognize because they’ve changed it after getting married. I’m not a big fan of the hyphenates, but it’s useful when people do that on FB (or put the maiden name in parentheses), at least for a time after they get hitched. Otherwise I have no idea who the hell it is unless I look at the profile.

  2. I (mostly) like kids pictures and travel pictures. What I think is funny/sad/annoying is when out of 100+ travel pictures 80 are of of themselves. Makes me wonder exactly how many times they said “can you take our/my picture?”.
    The backpack is HILARIOUS:

    • I go either way. If it’s kids that I don’t see that often, it can be cute. But some people post multiple pictures per day, and that is just way too much. As for the travel pictures, I’d much rather see pictures that were obviously taken by someone (or with a timer, I suppose), then 80 selfies. “Here I am in Florida! Good thing you can only see my face and a corner of blue sky!”

  3. Occupy 3rd grade… hahahaha!

    My entire newsfeed on FB is full of small children in school uniform. Because the UK still does school uniform. How does EVERYONE I know have school age kids already?!

    • I’ve seen a fair amount of uniforms as well. But the UK kids are instantly cuter due to their adorable tiny British accents. 🙂 And I hear you… some of the people I went to school with have 3-5 kids… some even middle-school age already. It’s frightening.

  4. we all had lockers in my elementary school, but in Vermont even tiny children have to have big puffy snowsuits, ski boots, skates, change of clothes in case the ones you have get wet from jumping in puddles etc.

    none of them had locks but we still had just as much space as the big kids, just closer to the ground than their cubbies.

    • Sounds fancy. We had the same winter clothing issues (minus the skates) but there were no lockers until we went to high school. Well, we had tiny gym lockers in 5th/6th grade, but those were useless for outerwear.

  5. Pingback: Fashion Watch: Labeled Edition | Heather Goes to Deutschland

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